The Soul
by Ayanami00
Summary: Into the minds of the Children
1. Shinji Ikari

"The Soul: Ikari Shinji" - written by Rei-chan.  
  
"The Soul: Ikari Shinji" - seen through the eyes of Ikari Shinji.   
His thoughts, his words, and dreams is expressed.   
I hope you all like it. This is my second fanfiction.   
It is not in the traditional story form, but freelance poetic form.   
Please let me know what you think.   
My e-mail address is BulmaGurl2u@dbzmail.com  
  
Shinji Ikari and any characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion (Shin Seiki Evangelion)   
appearing in this work belong to its rightful owners at Gainax.  
  
Why am I here?   
Why am I in this lonely and isolate place?   
It is just me, lonely me.   
Who else is here?   
Everyone is in another world - in his or her own little world.   
They have forgotten me.   
I am like the room I am sitting in.   
  
The walls are a light shade of gray,  
It is bare except for a dirty mirror hanging in the corner.  
One bed, one desk, one chair.  
Dim light from the outside shines through the window,  
A window with an old brown wooden frame, broken glass, never dust-free.  
The floor is a light shade of gray.  
Not clean, not dirty.  
  
I can hear the water dripping from the faucet.  
Very slowly, very quietly...  
Drip, drip, drip…  
One after another, each drop hits the bottom of the sink  
And disappears into the drain.  
That dark drain...  
  
I hear the sounds from the vent above the room.  
Bang...bang...bang…  
Will it ever stop?  
It is a steady beat.  
It do not annoy me much.  
The sound now stops  
Only the dripping water echoes through here.  
  
Such depressing sounds  
Such depressing colors  
This somber mood  
It is like me.  
I am lonely like the sound and the colors.  
  
Drip, drip, drip,  
Bang, bang, bang  
There is nothing else but a steady sound.  
How boring…  
  
Where is the sound of kids playing together outside?  
Where are they…why am I not included?  
I sit here in the middle of the room waiting.  
Waiting for someone to come in and talk,  
Waiting for someone to come in and hug me,  
Waiting for someone to come in and love me.  
  
Will I ever feel satisfied?  
I do not feel complete.  
A part of me is missing but no one seems to notice.  
I need someone to love me  
I need someone to take care of me.  
Is this too much to ask?  
  
The colors, and the sounds.  
They will not go away.  
The dull colors that surround me,  
The steady, but lonely beat that I hear.  
The dullness of my personality  
The steady, but lonely beat of my heart.  
  
I dream of the day where I am free.  
I dream of the day where I am goofing off with other kids.  
I dream of the day where someone will come and give me a hug.  
I dream of the day where I am not sitting in this room.  
  
When will this room be filled with bright happy colors?  
When will the dripping and banging stop?  
I know I have to do something…but what?  
I am afraid.   
When can I accept myself?  
  
Why do I push away those who are around me?  
Misato-san, Ayanami, Asuka, Father…  
I have no mother,  
I have no father to rely on  
I am a loveless child.  
I am a lonely child.  
  
Please someone, anyone,  
Save me from my anxiety.  
Save me from this cruel place, we all call our home.  
Take me to happiness  
  
Can you save me?  
Yes you…you who are listening to my thoughts.  
Will be take me to happiness?  
Will you take my pain away?  
Are you like me?  
  
Maybe you can understand,  
Maybe you can see through my lonely eyes.  
Through the eyes of a 14-year-old child whom has nothing left to give,  
Will you accept me?  
Will you love me?  
Please help me cleanse my soul from this evil.  



	2. Rei Ayanami

The Soul: Ayanami Rei  
By Rei-chan (Ayanami00)  
Bulmagurl2u@dbzmail.com  
  
All characters appearing in this Evangelion fanfic belong to the ingenious people of Gainax.  
  
The Soul: Ayanami Rei  
  
A soul of my own…I already have a soul.  
No…it is not mine, but someone else's.  
I do not feel as others do.  
I wonder "why."  
  
A soul of my own…I have the hope.  
Hope…a word used frequently, but I do not understand it.  
I do not hope as others do.  
I know "why."  
  
A soul of my own…I do not comprehend love.  
Love…it is trivial, but I want to feel it.  
I do not love as others do.  
I understand "why."  
  
A soul of my own…I want free will.  
Free will…it is something I do not have because I am controlled.  
It is what I yearn for in my heart.  
I ask "why."  
  
A soul of my own…I already have a voice.  
A voice...it is something I cannot use.  
I do not speak as others do.  
I ponder "why."  
  
A soul of my own…Rei Ayanami.  
Ayanami…independent, yet the same.  
It will be mine one day.  
I will be released. 


End file.
